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Chad ATA

MARRIGE JOKE
 
This newly wed couple was on there honeymoon, and the groom took off his pants threw them over to his wife and said try these on. She put them on and said man these are too big for me. The groom said that's right and don't you forget it. So she took off her pants and threw them over to the groom and said put these on. He got them about up to his knees and said I can't get into your pants. She said that's right and you won't if you don't change your attitude.

LORD GRANT ME
THE SERENITY TO
ACCEPT THE THINGS
I CANNOT CHANGE,
 
THE COURAGE
TO CHANGE
THE THINGS I CAN,
 
AND THE WISDOM
TO HIDE THE BODIES
OF THOSE PEOPLE
 
I HAD TO KILL
BECAUSE THEY
PISSED ME OFF.

STRESS
 
THAT CONFUSION
CREATED WHEN
 
ONE'S MIND
OVERRIDES THE
 
BODY'S DESIRE TO
 
CHOKE THE LIVING
 
SHIT OUT OF SOME
 
ASS HOLE WHO
 
DESPERATELY
NEEDS IT!!!

SAINTS FOOTBALL JOKE
 
 
They had this cajun man down in hell sitting on a rock just smilling, and the devil walked by sweating, and said why are you so happy you're not hot. The man said nope it feels like a nice July day. So the devil walks over to the thermastat and cranks it up half way. Then he walks back over to the man and said your still not hot. The man said no it still feals like a nice July day. So the devil walks back over to the thermastat and cranks it all the way up. So he walks back over to the man and said your still not hot. The man said it's getting a little warmer but it still feels nice. So the devil walks over to the thermastsat and kicks it so hard that it blows up. Then he walks back over to the man and said it's freezing why are you smiling. The man said with a grin hell has done froze over. SO THE SAINTS MUST OF WON THE SUPEVOWL!!!

When I got to the casino, I see the most ridiculous sign that says, "If you have a gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLE."So I call them and say I have an six and a ace. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?

Seen on a Coast Guard bumper sticker. "Support Search and Rescue...Get Lost!!"

When I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technian, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight year old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live Bonbs" I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see him running you better catch up!!"

Dear dad,
$chool i$ really $well. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. I have $o much $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need. $o if you like, Send me a card, a$ I would like to hear from you.
Love, Your $on
 
 
 
Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep an hoNOrs student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can't study eNOugh.
Love,Dad